44 pounds gone and 60 more to go!

I am so excited when I see the amount of weight I have lost shown as one lump sum. 44.4 pounds gone since the birth of Courtney on November 16th, 2007. Today I was thinking back to when I had my maternity photos taken with Jillian. And the day I gave birth to my last baby. I was at my highest weight EVER, 238!. I was huge and swollen up. And my poor veins. But I still felt so beautiful! At that point it was like I felt like WHATEVER. I don't think I will EVER get this weight off. But so far all 34 pounds of this pregnancy are off. And I am now below and working my way down to my goal of 135 pounds. I have 60 pounds left to go. It seems that with every pregnancy I added 12 pounds on. But, my pregnancies were all close together not affording me the time to get the weight off. Everytime I lost weight, I ended up pregnant! The never ending battle it seemed.

So, from today on with each 12 pounds I remove I will think back and take a trip down memory lane. So, in 12 pounds it will be Caroline, then Catie, then Carly, then Claire and then finally Cameron.

It feels like with every pound gone, I erase that part of my life. Atleast the pregnant part of my life. I am OK with moving on now. The weight loss is refreshing me, and helping me to reach my NEW goals. Some goals I am very excited about. Time to move forward and get rid of this 'Groundhog Day' existence that I feel I live. I want to shake stuff up, and not feel STUCK. The weight makes me feel stuck. Just like when I had my braces on for a few years (not to mention the headgear, elastics etc.) BUT when the braces came off I blossomed! (well that I how I remember 20 years ago!)

I am so excited to see what that weight will feel like, what I will look like. Will it make me happier? Will it change my life like I think it will! All of the unknowns that finally are becoming more so a reality.

60 pounds! But, really when I think long and hard about those 60 pounds...they were totally worth it! They are worth every pound I gained.

60 pounds! I am doing it! I am already doing it! I am going to get there by October 1st 2008!

I am going to reach my GOAL! I am not going to waver! I am sticking with this, and following my plan through to the end. I will not give up!

When I am done with this process of losing my weight I will have removed 104 pounds from my frame! WOW! How can that NOT feel great!