Monday, December 31, 2007

Diving right in to the New Year 2008!

Yes...diving right into 2008! This was me when I was 15 or 16 years old! Diving!
I remember wearing that bikini, and cannot wait to wear one AGAIN!!

Sunday, December 30, 2007

New Year is a coming soon!

Well, I have been busy researching my fitness and eating plans for 2008. I purchased 2 books and have been reading them and becoming very inspired. Cliff and I are putting a workout plan in place so that we both can do this at the same time.

I am getting excited for the Goo-Be-Gone 2008 contest that starts January 1st 2008. I am finally going to MAKE time for ME, and Cliff will make time for HIM! This is a good thing.

Life is good! I am making specific plans and goals. For the short term and the long term. It is going to be good!

wishful thinking?!

Sunday, December 23, 2007

9 days till the challenge starts!

We bought ourselves a Christmas present last night. A new scale. We went middle of the road with pricing, and not too many functions or options just a basic scale. And, I think the weight should be right on, as it pretty much matches our Dr's scale. So, I am content with that. Now I weight more though and that sucks lol. (that is because our old scale was too low...the truth hurts, oh yes it does)

Anyways. Cliff is doing the Go-Be-Gone too, but I will not be documenting his weight loss. I told him to start his OWN blog. Maybe he will. He plans on losing 50 pounds, which will bring him back to when I first met him and married him. We are both excited to start this process together. We will support each other which will be nice.

I am 13 pounds away from my pre-pregnancy that is pretty good because I haven't even been working on getting any of that baby weight off yet. I have lost 21 pounds of baby weight in the past 5 weeks. Not bad. Thankfully I did not put on as much as the other pregnancies.

So, my plan is to lose 77 pounds. Maybe 87 pounds. I will decide when I get closer to my goal. But, my plan is to take the weight off in manageable amounts. First is the big goal of getting UNDER 200 pounds, and then I will use mini goals of 5 pounds or maybe even 10 pounds. That seems reasonable to me. Because the thought of losing 77 or 87 pounds is really a HUGE goal to attain and really scary, but exciting scary!! A big challenge. But truly one I am READY to achieve. If I were to add my top pregnancy weight to those numbers I am at 98 pounds lost or 108 pounds lost! I will have to come up with a stellar goal prize for myself! Not just teeth whitening lol!

So, I have already started the mental preparation for this huge undertaking. I am visualizing myself as that smaller me. Like my goal photo. I am picturing myself doing fun things at that weight etc. Planning what clothes I would like to wear etc. I am trying to think myself healthy to get ready to do this. I am thinking about how great I will feel, and the energy I will create. And how much more present I will feel in my life. No more hiding or sitting on the sidelines. It will be good.

I will be glad to see the scale move below the 200 mark too. I NEVER EVER want to go there again. With every pregnancy I have gone beyond that mark. Thankfully those days are over!

This is going to be sooo good!

Saturday, December 22, 2007

Weekend Update

Well, the money is in for the Goo-Be-Gone weight loss competition that officially starts Jan 1st with a photograph of my weight on the scale. It is based on percentage of weight lost. So, that is good. The competition runs until April 1st. So far there are over 20 people competing. I hope to lose 25 pounds in 3 months. And, after the competition is over I will go further by myself and try to go another 25 pounds by July and then the final weight off by October 1st. My plan is to take off 70 pounds by then. Maybe even 80. I will evaluate where I am at when I get there. I also still need to get a new scale. I think ours is 5 pounds lighter or something like that. I want accuracy!! I cannot wait to see those numbers! You will definitely see less of me next year ;D

I finally thought my 'flow' had stopped at 5 weeks on Friday, but it is back AGAIN. It is red too. So frustrating. If it continues like it has been until next weekend, back to the doctor I go to get a check up and make sure all is well. I feel all crampy and stuff. Who knows maybe it is my cycle coming back? Maybe a let down of hormones as Courtney has been feeding less at night? Who knows. All I know is that I am tired of pads and liners, liners and pads.

Today, I went for a pedicure 'and went goth' according to Cliff lol. I didn't do my usual 'Cathy Pink' and went darker like a dark purple! And I got my post baby waxing of all sorts. Now, I feel more like myself which is a good feeling. I feel all fresh lol!

We also are going to get a yearly membership at the local community centre for the whole family. There is the pool, the weight room and fitness classes. Something for all of us. That way we all can get healthy and fit together. We cannot wait. The kids are excited to spend time in the pool with Daddy! I don't do pools until my legs are maybe in '09 eh!

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Ortho Appointment 20 years later!

One of my goals of 2008 is to really work on myself, and fix up the things I haven't been able to do because of constantly being pregnant or nursing. I haven't been able to fit in certain things, or do things because I was busy with the kids etc. Well, yes I am busier than ever...BUT with Courtney being our last I can see my future a bit better. I can start to plan for things I couldn't do before. Like get retainers AGAIN.

So, last night I searched the name of my orthodontists from years ago. Thank goodness for the Internet! So, I called the office and left a message about wanting to get retainers made to keep my mouth in shape. Well, they called back this morning and they are still in the same building after all of these years and they still have my old record which is 20 years ago at least! And, they also have my Mom's record. So, I am going in January to be re-fit or retro fitted lol for new retainers. I am going to bring a photo of myself from the day I got my braces and bring it (and the scummy retainers!!) I am so excited. I wonder if I will be remembered. Did you know I STILL have my braces in a little envelope from the day I got them off in my 16th year? I cannot get rid of those. They were a HUGE part of my life for 3 years.

Once I hit my goal weight in October 2008 I am going to get ZOOM whitening done. That is my ultimate reward...and who wants to cram a bunch of garbage in your mouth when you have nice pearly I am hoping the teeth will be the incentive to keep the weight off. And, also reward myself for my lifetime achievement of NO cavities EVER!!! I want to celebrate that part of me! I have been wanting to get this done for YEARS!!

2008 is my year to shine my big smile again. I have so much to smile about!!

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

4 weeks 2 days postpartum photos

Taken on Monday, after my vascular surgeon appointment
Not much change, but that is to be expected. I feel better than I look! Feels good to wear new clothes, and even better to start recognizing myself with dark hair. Still picture myself as a blonde in my minds eye.

Stocking Saga...

Well, the compression 'hose' were not fit to me correctly, and so I called first the specialist's office and asked them if what I was feeling was OK, and they said the hose are probably too long. So, I then called the place that fitted me and they sent a courier to pick up the old stockings and send me a 'short' pair. So, today it took me about 8 minutes to get these things on with my 'donning gloves' seriously they are called that. I kid you not.

Today, I feel so so about this. I wanted to cry this morning when I put these suckers on. I was doing this when Courtney was starting to cry. And so that made me want to cry. I feel really warm, as I banned pantyhose a long time ago. So, now to be wearing these hot, itchy Lycra hose UNDER my jeans feels really uncomfortable. Thankfully though, this is not happening in the summer.

Well, I need to do this for my vein health, but every day I just seem to feel older and uglier by the second. 10 years ago I would be putting on nice high heels and nice skirts and going to work. Now my life is so different from that.

Anyways, enough of the whining here. On a more positive note, January first is a coming fast and I cannot wait to start this contest called Goo-be-Gone. It is a take off of the Biggest Loser. It runs for 3 months, and finishes on April 1st. I hope to lose about 25 pounds in 3 months. I think that is a realistic goal. And, in 6 months (June 1st) I hope to have lost 50 pounds. And by October 1st I plan on having lost a total of 70-80 pounds. Just in time for my 37th bday. And hopefully something really fun to do, like perhaps run a half marathon if I can train for it.

I watched the finale of the Biggest Loser, and it was so good and inspiring. And, I look forward to watching the couples version of it that starts on January 1st. Perfect time for motivation for my own weight loss. Cliff has decided that he wants to lose 50 pounds. That is so exciting too! We can motivate each other and cheer for each other, and that gives us 2 chances in the competition we are entering!

I am not allowed to kickbox for the time being because of the leg/vein issue so I plan on power walking 60-90 minutes every day. Hopefully when the vein is not swollen anymore then I can ask the surgeon again if I can start.

That will be MY TIME...whether it in the morning or the evening, on the treadmill or outside I will do this. And, I will be watching my portions. And, hopefully do some skipping with the kids!! And a video or two when time permits ;D and maybe some other stuff...who knows. All I know is that I cannot wait to do this! I need this!!

I have booked my ultrasound scan on my veins aka vein study for mid January, and a follow up in the end of January. The cost: $250 dollars...our extended does not cover this darn it. Oh well...I am worth it!!

Monday, December 17, 2007

Vascular Surgeon Appointment Update

Today, Cliff took Courtney and myself to the big old city and I met with my specialist. He took a look, and suggested that I get support hose. And let me tell you, they are like the worst/tightest pair of hose you have EVER worn. And, they are very EXPENSIVE. Like 150 dollars expensive. And, I had to be measured for them. It took so long!!!

Anyways, so he also wants me to go for a vein scan/ultrasound to check out my faulty valves/veins etc. I have to call to arrange for that appointment. It takes 45 mins and I have to wear shorts to that appointment...oh lovely when you have such knotted up, twisty veins. I don't even OWN, I think I will borrow a pair of Cliff's running shorts. This scan will give the specialist an idea of if I need surgery or not. I am thinking yes, because he handed me a piece of paper with the info on day surgery. And if I need day surgery it is done under local with IV sedation, or if BOTH legs it would be under general sedation. I am hoping for only one leg. Anyways. I will arrange for that vein scan for asap.

The good thing is that, I do NOT have to wait 2 months after breastfeeding for surgery if needed. And, thankfully he is starting the process early for me so that when the time is right...all of the steps are in place to get my legs looking lovely and smooth again. And, oh what a joy that will be to wear skirts, shorts, dresses and be able to shave properly again. That will be good. I am sick of my grandpa/old man legs.

So for now. I will suck it up and wear these tight tights/stockings/whatevers. I want to take a photo because they are just so ugly. I am sure my husband will not come NEAR me lol!! I need to wear them until the vein swelling goes away. Right now I feel hot, because they are not natural fibres, and they make me itchy and sweaty feeling. Especially when I am used to being barefoot all of the time. I also have to wash these things DAILY EVERY night, and you need rubber gloves (bright green ones) SERIOUSLY to pull/rub them up. I kid you not. Then, I need to put them on EVERY morning. Oh, just give me a little more to do...because I have all of the time in the world...Uh huh.

Suck it up buttercup...yup suck it up. It is for your own health...yup.

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Vitamins and Plans

I went to the health food store today, and I purchased fish oils for the kids, and fish oil for myself (nursing mom) and vitamin d pills. I want to take good care of myself. So, I splurged on those items.

I also enquired about a women's kickboxing program (ongoing) and will hopefully try a class if the vascular surgeon says I am good to go. I think it will be good stress relief, and the instructor said it would get rid of my 'jigglies' as I call them. If, I am able to participate I will start in January 2008. If I cannot, then I start my brisk walking program.

I am really looking forward to changing my life!

Tales about your Scale...

I am looking to buy a good scale. I am starting my 140 pound program on January 2nd. I want to purchase a scale.

I would like some input. Thanks!!

Friday, December 14, 2007

no more pregnancies = no more babies

I am trying to prepare myself for no more babies (no more pregnancies = no more babies) for our family. We have talked about this a lot, I know. But Courtney is really the last baby for our family. We are ending off on a good baby that is for sure. I know, I know, Carly was supposed to be our last, same with Catie, and then Caroline. Yup. We even printed that in Caroline's birth announcement. But, hey we ended up with six wonderful kids instead. Our six pac. Our six children. Our six C's. Or as my cousin Riki typed to me our cix-pac! Our half dozen kids. We are complete!

But still even today, I see a pregnant person and I feel envious, sad and happy all at the same time. Sad that I will not carry a baby anymore, sad that I will not see any more tiny little feet, or soft little heads, or froggy bodies. No small little pinky fingers or that newborn smell that belong our kids.

I am also happy that I was so fortunate and blessed be able to carry 6 out 7 pregnancies to term and to go on to have healthy and happy kids with very few health issues. To me that is such a relief! I count my blessings, and feel such joy when I see the kids all around us! Such joy. It just makes me happy to my very core.

So, this journey you see will be one of a big changes for me, and for our life as a family. I need to work through the sad feelings I feel at different times, and accept them, acknowledge them and move on. That is the part I am going to struggle with. But, I know something good will come from all of this. I know with time that those feelings of sadness and what ifs will fade, and know we can really enjoy our kids as they grow up! We are starting a new phase together as a family of eight people. I think it is just the fact that I feel like this is what I was meant to do with my life. And now, it feels like the very exciting years of pregnancy and birth are gone. Not to say that there will be nothing exciting ahead ;D

I have told Cliff that I feel useless now, now that my 'job' is done. And he keeps saying yes that part of my life is done, but there is so much more to my 'job' left. My job as a Mom is far from over. And yes he is right about that! Cliff said that all of these kids will always need me for quite some time! And yes, he is right of course. And he also told me at that moment, to look around the room and really look at what we had created together in the last 8 years. And, I did. I really looked around.

Through my tears that morning, I saw six kids that we created together in our love for one another. I saw Cameron, Claire, Carly, Catie, Caroline and Courtney and of course my wonderful husband, cheerleader and support person which was Cliff! And to me that is my life. Right there in front of me. My wonderful family. At that moment I said to myself through the tears that I am so thankful for this journey. Thankful for my family. I was so happy to be a Mom and Wife!

Most people would probably be doing a hip hip hooray to this phase of their life being over, but for almost 10 years of my life this has been my life. I don't really remember doing anything in the past that was as challenging, frustrating or rewarding all at the same time. I only know how to be a Mom now. I was really great at getting pregnant, delivering these kids and breastfeeding. Now that this part of life is done, it is like quiting cold turkey. I am so fine with it, but I have to mourn this loss so to speak.

Give me time, and I know I will find myself. And, thankfully this journey to motherhood has really changed me. I like to think Motherhood has made me a different, more caring person. Perhaps ten years ago I may have looked better, but seriously the person inside of me today is way better. Motherhood will do that to you. It changes you to the core. That is a good thing.

It will be an interesting road to travel that is for sure. We have lots to be thankful for, and many great years ahead.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Appointment with the specialist

I heard from my doc this morning! Thank goodness!

I am heading into the big city on Monday to meet with the vascular surgeon! I hope he has some good ideas/options for me.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Vein Update - Dr Appointment

Well, here is what went down. Yes, my leg is worse. No, it is not fatal and it cannot kill me. And it is a superficial clot, in a superficial varicose vein. I am able to walk, exercise whenever I want. I have my doctors blessings to exercise, walk etc. It just hurts and it is uncomfortable for me. So, my doc is going to call the vein specialist aka my vascular surgeon (I met him just after I had Caroline) and my doc is going to ask what he can do for me. What can he do to help me. As it stands, my doctor gave me the strongest drugs he could give me because I am breastfeeding. Now, he needs to get some help! That is good! I need the help!

So, if my doc can get a hold of the vascular surgeon tomorrow, and if he talks to him, and gets an answer my doctor will call me tomorrow. If not tomorrow, as soon as he hears back from him.

So, at least their is a game plan in place. Now, I wait.

My doc said my legs will be fixed up as good as new. I sure hope so, because as I see my legs today I wonder what they will be able to do to fix me up! *fingers crossed*

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

That was me then...

See, I did have abs!! I just need to find them! I was on vacation in Hawaii here!

Oh, and I found a photo of my legs, pre veins! This was me in Whistler back in tha day.

See...I had nice legs!! Oh, I cannot wait to get my legs fixed up!! I miss you legs!!

Walking feels so good!

I have been walking a lot with all 6 kids. Pushing 2 in the double stroller to school and back. The weather, although cold has been PERFECT for walking. It feels good to be able to move, without huffing and puffing and having troubles bending down like when I was pregnant. Walking makes me feel more alive, healthy and calm. I even feel better about my body when I walk. Then the trouble is when I look into the mirror at home. Then I wonder who is that person staring back at me? You don't look like Cathy I remember. What happened to FUN CATHY? Where did she go?

I like the person I am inside, but I want the outside to reflect back the person I am in person, and inside. They just do not jive. I have felt like this after the birth of EACH of my kids. With time, I know I will reach my goal. But, I feel impatient. Chill! lol. Chill.

I think I will just not look in the mirror until I can start feeling better about myself. No, I will look in the mirror, and try to come up with ONE positive thing about my looks that I like right now.

Monday, December 10, 2007

Dr. Phil Advice for Mom's

Four-Step Priority Plan for Mothers- by Dr. Phil

If you are stressed, mentally exhausted and out of balance, you aren't being fair to yourself or your family. You'll be a happier person — not to mention a better wife, mother and friend — once you stop putting your own needs last. Dr. Phil has advice for making yourself a priority.

1. Get over the guilt.
Don't feel guilty for taking time for yourself. It's not selfish to make yourself a priority. Redefine what it means to be a "good mother." Instead of using society's definition, create your own measure of success as a parent. A good mother is not one who only sacrifices; a good mother is also able to give of herself. If you don't have passion and happiness in your own life, you can't give it to your children. Give yourself permission to be more than half of a couple, more than "just" a mom.

2. Make yourself a priority.
Don't confuse the quality and quantity of your time. They simply aren't the same things. Focus on the impact that your time does have, and give yourself the same attention you'd give someone else you love. Don't do everything for your children. They are able to do some tasks on their own. Take the time to teach them how to do things for themselves. Learn the art of saying no, the ability to delegate and the capacity to accept help without feeling guilty.

3. Discover your passions.
Find something that you love to do. What gives you a sense of pride, accomplishment or enjoyment? Think back to when you last felt this sort of passion. Now, ask yourself: "What would it take to put that feeling back into my life? What can I do to recreate that feeling now?" When you've found your passion, make time for it in your regular schedule. Don't allow yourself to treat this "me time" as an option. It should be as important as anything else.

4. Gain the support of your family.
This isn't always easy, but it can be done. Let your family know how and why you need to do things for yourself — so you can be a better mom and wife. Compromise with your family. Help them to understand that while things may change, you won't be abandoning them.

Sunday, December 9, 2007

Note to self:

Don't even bother watching the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show...when you are in the postpartum phase, when you can't even imagine putting on anything remotely close to those outfits (are they outfits?!) Anyways, the show was AMAZING, and fun (especially the Spice Girls and Seal) BUT it made me feel very yuck about my current body...

My belly hangs over my granny pants still. Not so nice. So, why did I have to watch it again today? I think for inspiration...yup. Inspiration. If Heidi Klum can do it, so can I! Thanks Heidi you are inspiring me to get back to the way I was years ago!! You did it after 3 kids, so it is possible after 6!!

Friday, December 7, 2007

Weight Loss Quotes

Carl Sandburg: Weight Loss Quotes
The time for action is now. It's never too late to do something.

Harold Wilkins: Weight Loss Quotes
The world of achievement has always belonged to the optimist.

Heraclitus: Weight Loss Quotes
There is nothing permanent except change.

Swedish Proverb: Weight Loss Quotes
Those who wish to sing, always find a song.

3 weeks postpartum

Today, Courtney is 3 weeks old. I am still having issues with my veins, and made a follow up appointment with my doctor.

Just when you think that bleeding is slowing down, life gets busy and the bleeding picks up. So, that is my body telling me I am trying to do too much too soon. Hard to not do much when life is busy with family stuff.

But, today the bleeding is slowing down again. That is good. I feel good other than my veins, and my sciatic issues in my back. That should resolve too.

As for the bum troubles, the vein is going down but it is really not gone. Not sure if it will ever go down? Only time will tell. Atleast it doesn't hurt to laugh or sit anymore.

As for my arm vein, well that is looking and feeling way better. There is just a slight bruise left and the arm is softening up again!

I have also found my body joints to be achy from feeds, and sleeping funny (or maybe just from lack of sleep) but I am finding the lack of sleep fine, except I don't feel I have much of a brain left lol.

I noticed I dropped 2 more pounds, so I have lost 22 pounds of 34. Not bad for me 3 weeks past delivery.

I am excited about starting my plan, but I am waiting until January 2nd to start that! I look forward to making positive changes and creating a new me! A different new me! A fresh start! I will be starting my 140 pound plan! Yup! That is my goal weight! I hope to reach that goal by my 37th birthday!