Monday, July 28, 2008

not feelin' it

I am tired, I haven't been sleeping well, and when I do it is usually right on the couch. My running is going well, but my eating is not. I find myself eating 'bad' things when the moment strikes. Today it was an ice cream sandwich. Yesterday, a bit too much chocolate.

But like I have said before, I am not really in the weight loss mind frame anymore. I do not like the loose skin that is starting to hand on my stomach, hips, arms and legs. It doesn't feel very attractive. I don't feel attractive. At most times I do not. I feel that food is one of the things that makes me feel happy these days. Not the number on the scale, or anything else.

Anyways, today I took a tumble onto the tile floor, and my shoulder, arm and leg is sore. I run tomorrow, and I just hope I will be feelin' it!

I feel exhauted after the week we have had with all of the throw up. I am hoping and praying for a happy and healthy August.

I need to kickstart myself somehow. I need to re-b00t my drive again. I seemed to have lost it.

Uggggggh.

6 comments:

Heidi O said...

Hey I know the loose skin can feel unattractive but being healthy really is what is attractive in a person. Well not the only thing but it makes a difference. You are an inspiration because you are sharing your progress and feelings and you are doing it. Plus that is awesome that you signed up for a race.

cathy said...

Heidi o,

Thank you for sharing this with me. It is exactly what I needed to read this morning. There are MANY positive aspects to what I am doing in my life. I just had a 'downer day' yesterday.

I am very excited for my race, which is about 11 weeks away. I must focus on that!

Tonight I am off for a run, and hill training starts tomorrow!

Thanks for your comment.

Cathy

Angie said...

I'm sorry you were out of the groove yesterday ... hope that has changed!

You'll do very well on your race. The times you have down for runs are awesome!!

You've come a long way and that's certainly something to celebrate. Along the same lines as what Heidi said, health = beauty! You look fantastic!

Annette said...

HI Cathy, I have not commented on your blog before, my name is Annette, I am Yvonne's sister and I live in Australia. My husband and I have been married 20 years and I am a mother of five beautiful, but at times challenging, blessings! I have struggled with my weight through all, and between all, my pregnancies, and presently sit around 90 kgs which is my highest non pregnant weight...sh don't tell. I found your blog (off of Yvonne's blog) last week Friday night and I have been inspired by what you have accomplished. I have gone back to the beginning of your journey and each night I have read another month..last night I read March and I had to have a sneak peek at April to see if you had won! You did fantastic....don't EVER doubt that! I hope it re-inspires you to remember where you were a year ago and that others our being inspired by your journey. You inspired me to also start a blog (private...just for me at the moment..) to chart my journey Finding Me. Thanks for sharing so much of yourself...sincerely Annette

Alyson said...

hang in there. loose skin or not...you are still hot. I guarantedd cliff can look past it. I bet he sees the inner drive, the bodily transformation and the inner drive....and does not see anything else.

Your family has been through A LOT lately. hang in there and don't be too hard on yourself.

you'll get back on track. just force yourself to do runs...even if slow or shorter. Try to remember that eating is temporary and you'll regret it later.

cathy said...

Thank you so much all of my blog followers for pumping me up and commenting! I really appreciate it!